Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.

I finally have the time to write. I kept myself very busy the past week. It feels amazing to be home... Flagstaff has never been so amazing and beautiful to me before. I guess you realize how much you love a place after you leave it for so long.

As we know, my 21st birthday was spent traveling. What a loooooong journey THAT was. It sucked. I was nervous and freaking out the entire time on the 19th, thinking that my cab would be late (which it was), the bus would be late to the airport and I would miss my flight. Obviously nothing crazy happened which would make me miss my flight. When I got to the airport, the computers froze so I stood there fore about 20 minutes. I told the lady it was my birthday and I finally get to go home. She automatically got me a better seat and didn't charge me for the weight of my bag (the two bags=105 pounds). I get to the airport and I am finally hungry... Hadn't really had anything to eat for three days because that is what I do when I worry. So I grabbed something to eat before my flight and went to the gate and waited. The flight from Birmingham to Newark was so long. I got about 2 hours of sleep... I arrived in Newark and was so exhausted, but excited. However, figuring out that airport is stupid and annoying. It is a horrible airport. Anyway, I went to the desk where I could change my flight, paid the $25.00 to get the earlier flight from there to phoenix and just waited. As soon as I got on that airplane I started to get more anxious. I was sitting in the MIDDLE (i HATE the middle) and the two guys that I was sitting next to were both fidgeting and moving their legs all over the place. That flight was long too... I thought we would never make it! But we arrived about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. I got off the plane and started making my way to baggage claim and where I figured my mom and stephanie would be. and they were there!!!! Oh my god, it was amazing to see my momma and my best friend. Best feeling in the world (besides my mom hugging me so hard i thought i would die). But it was great. There are no words to describe how amazing it felt to be back home. We got my luggage and made out way to In-n-out. I got me my grilled cheese and rootbeer. It was DELICIOUS. After dinner we made the 2.5 drive to Flagstaff. At this point I have been up for three days England time, so I was exhausted. And of course once I get home, I couldn't sleep. Eventually I fell asleep and woke up at 5.30am. haha. I immediately started unpacking. I hate having my stuff in a suitcase, so since everyone was asleep, I figured I might as well start packing and keeping myself busy. Monday was spent running errands, DRIVING!, buying things, and just hanging out. I didn't take a nap even though I was tired because taking a nap would not help the jet lag. And I don't think I actually had jet leg. It took me about 3 days to get back to normal and not feeling tired during the day, but I went to bed by 8-9 and woke up 7-8 in the morning. Not too bad.

This weekend I went to Vegas. We only went out once, and I only had one shot. I don't get too crazy. haha. We went to Lindsay's families cabin up in Utah. It was great to just get away and relax. It is so peaceful up there. I love Lindsay's family and of course Lindsay herself. It was great to see everyone and share stories. Her brothers band The Cab just got signed so they are going to record soon. www.myspace.com/thecabrock is their website. They only have one song up because Fueled by Ramen/Decaydance runs their site and doesn't want them to give away too much of their new album that is to come out early next year. I am so excited for them. They are just graduating high school and Lindsay's brother, Alex already has $30,000.00 because of publishing rights. Other bands that are on the label are Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Gym Class Hereos, The Academy Is... I am so excited for them, and they are playing a show this up coming weekend that I am going to attend. I have never seen them play before because I was in England.

Anyway, tomorrow I start work again.I am excited for the paycheck every two weeks. It will be nice to get back in the swing of things. Samantha comes back next Sunday, so I can't wait to see her!!! This summer is going to be fun. especially since I don't have to ruin it with school. But that has its positives and negatives.

I will probably start writing in the other blog http://kyriesnaulife.blogspot.com/ because this journey has come to a close. Unfortunately, I end this blog with an odd number, but perhaps I will write just one more sometime to even it out. Damn OCD.

A woman travels the world over in search of what she needs and returns home to find it.

Things accomplished today:

• laundry
• going to my special place one last time
• going to Starbucks and finishing Invitation to a Beheading
• going to the art gallery

You would think the day would be going faster since I have done a lot. But, of course, it is dragging. it is only 5.45 here. 5.45!!! gosh darnet. But at least the day is practically over on my side of the world.

Tomorrow:

• take bedding and unwanted clothes/shoes/other random shit to the donation dumpster outside ASDA.
• hopefully go for a walk
• finish packing
• take my lat shower in the god awful shower here
• and try to keep my mind occupied as much as possible.

My bus that will take me to the airport on Sunday leaves Sunday morning at 5.15. I am taking a taxi to the bus station because I can't walk all my luggage up there by myself... I should get to the airport around 6.35 and I will check in and go through security. My flight leaves at 9am which is 1am back home. 7.5 hours later, I arrive in Newark where I will hopefully catch the earliest flight available (there are still 15 seats for the one at 3 and about 20 for the one at 4) so I don't have to sit in the airport for 8 hours waiting for my original flight at 6pm. I figure I will cry if they don't let me. Cry, say it is my 21st birthday, and that I haven't seen my mother in freakin 4 months. Tears always seem to get me what I want. :)

Right now I am not very sad that this experience is coming to an end. I think I will be sad once I am away and the shock of being home again goes away. I am at the whole "alright already, time to come home" phase. But I know once I look back, I will miss certain things about being here. It will just be awhile, seeing as I will be so excited be home.

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

I am officially done with the semester. I just took my last final and killed it in an hour and fifteen minutes. Six pages of greatness.

My attitude is different today. I finally got good sleep (which I have been lacking) because of the Advil PM I took. A lovely 12.5 hours of sleep and I feel so refreshed. At times I still get a little blah, but I think that is normal. Now I get to sit around and do nothing for two days except for the little things I have said I will do to keep the days going by fast. If the weather is permitting tomorrow, I plan on taking my book, Invitation to a Beheading and going to the park after I do my laundry. If the weather isn't permitting, I will go to the free Art Museum that is just up the road which I tend to spend hours in. They have a new section called "Pop Art" and they even have an Andy Warhol piece that I love of Jackie O. after JFK got shot. (I have decided that when I move out, I am going to decorate my apartment with Andy Warhol prints). Hopefully the park on Saturday if I don't get to go tomorrow... and if I do get to go tomorrow, I will probably go again just so I am not sitting in my room tapping my knees trying not to piss my pants with excitement. hah

It is strange, now that I think about it that this whole experience is over. Granted, I am glad it is, but I don't want this to just be something that has happened. I know this is more than a memory... and I know I have grown to be a better person and was able to see the strength I don't usually allow myself to see when I am home. I am a lot stronger than I think I am, I just have to recognize that and believe in myself more. It is all a part of growing up, and I think, while I complain a lot about things, that I have grown up and matured. OBVIOUSLY these next few days are going to be me reflecting, and I will probably reflect for awhile after this... Stepping outside this place and looking back on it will make me realize a lot more.

It is almost 8 here... so I would like to say that I have two more days left. :)

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

I dropped Heather off at the train station this morning at 5.05. I already feel lonely. I really don't have much longer here, I know this... four days, FOUR DAYS! But it feels like forever. My one and only friend has gone and left me here to be by myself... and it already sucks. I got a whole 3 hours of sleep last night because I am anxious and my mind wont stop going. I keep thinking that SOMETHING is going to go wrong which will make it impossible for me to go home. I know that it is ridiculous, but everyone goes through it... when you're so anxious to get somewhere and see people you haven't seen in FOREVER you can't help but think something will happen to prevent you from it. It isn't helping that England has been in a constant rain for almost 2 weeks... the weather channel website said it was supposed to be sunny the rest of the week... well, it doesn't look like it to me. I just want to cry... and I can honestly say that I have NO reason to cry besides that I just want to be home already... and that I miss my mom a lot and just don't want to be here... by myself anymore. I did get out of my prison cell they call a room. I am in the computer lab, re-reading some cliff notes on my two books for my final today at 2. After this final I have one more tomorrow, but not until 6pm. After that, I am DONE! The only thing I have to do after Thursday is do laundry and pack the rest of my stuff. I just hope it goes by fast. There is the last school trip to Whales on Saturday, and in a way I want to go, but I wont get back until 9.30ish and I probably wont be able to sleep at all... I just feel it might be too much since Sunday is such a long travel day for me. I honestly know I probably sound really pathetic, but it is time to come home... it is time to get back into my life back there. And I know... I KNOW I ONLY have four days left, but it feel like it will be the longest four days of my life. And in a way I am really jealous of Heather... she gets to be home in less than 12 hours. She gets to see her mom and her dad and sleep in her bed tonight. I know I am not far off, but it is normal (in my opinion) to feel the way I do. I remember when I first got here, I didn't think I was going to make it four months... I honestly thought I would come home, but I have done it... and now I have four days and I can't come home any sooner. I am just in a funk... and I am trying my hardest to be optimistic... I even wrote myself a little sticky note that says "Stop FREAKING OUT" and one that says "Be OPTIMISTIC". I am trying... I have less than a full hand of days left. I can do this, I know I can... I have fucking lived here for four god damn months, I can handle four more days... but boy do I wish I was only here one more day.

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.

My horoscope for the week:
Week of May 14, 2007
Your inner world may be stirred up as Mars moves into your mysterious twelfth house on Tuesday. You are about to embark on an inner adventure – one that takes place in consciousness. From this point onwards you may find your dreams becoming more vivid and bright – offering you new insights into your past, present, and your future. Try and write them down, especially the more vivid ones as they will contain valuable guidance. The Sun in your sign is strengthening your resolve and helping you to.

I know that this next week is going to put a lot of things into perspective. It is my last week of doing this amazing experience and I will reflect more than I ever have before. I have challenged myself in more ways than one and will hopefully continue doing so, even after I go home. I feel as if I have changed... I feel like I grew up, matured, got more wise, more adventuresome, found strength, got more optimistic... I feel like I have changed so much, but I fear that it wont show when I get back. That I will still be considered the naive girl I was before I left. I guess this is normal, because sometimes we change and don't realize it until we are back in our comfort but sometimes we feel like we've changed and really didn't. My change may be small, but I feel it, and I guess that is all that matters.

Tonight is my "birthday" dinner. Heather leaves on Wednesday so we are going to our favorite pub one last time for the best fish n chips, followed by chocolate cake and sparkling wine. First we are going to the Wolverhampton Art Gallery to check that out, they have a new exhibit, "popular culture" so it should be fantastic. I keep forgetting that my birthday is on Sunday. I just know I am going home on Sunday... and that excites me. Usually my birthday excites me, but not this year... this year I have something better, I have home, my mom and Stephanie waiting for me at the airport.

There is actual blue skies right now. A first in about a week and a half. It finally stopped raining today, we were going on two days of rain. Dreadful, but at least I know I could live in Seattle if I ever decide to go there.

I think this is going to be a good week.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

To my mom, the moms in my family, and every mom out there... Happy Mothers Day!


To My Mother
For all the times you gently picked me up,
When I fell down,
For all the times you tied my shoes
And tucked me into bed,
Or needed something
But put me first instead.
For everything we shared,
The dreams, the laughter,And the tears,
I love you with a "Special Love"
That deepens every year..

I love you and I will see you soon.

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

I can officially say that in four months, I have been in four different countries!!

I am back and kicking from Dublin. Lets start from the beginning shall we? It was an interesting trip.

I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night/Monday morning. I decided it would be best if I stayed up for 36+ hours. We left for the train station around 4.30 am to catch our train that was around 5ish. We were sitting there, getting really excited and just talking away when the intercom man came on and said "We are sorry to announce that the 5 (insert time here) train to Birmingham International has been cancelled." Heather and I started freaking out... it is about 50 pounds, ($100.00) to take a cab from Wolverhampton to BHX. So we go to the ticket office and ask when the next train is this train was at 6.05 am. Our flight departs at 7.55. Panic takes over, but then I went into my optimistic phase and said "it will all work out. We will get Dublin..." So we waited and we waited. Then the intercom lady come on again and said "We are sorry to inform you that the 5.45 train to Birmingham International has been cancelled". HAHA. NOT FUNNY!! Now we are freaking out. I am trying not to show the fact that I want to puke, because Heather is freaking out for the both of us. We go back and sit down... when the intercom lady comes on once again "The 5.45 train to Birmingham International should be arriving in ten minutes" Thank god. I was about to shit myself. As soon as we get on the train, we relax... we don't have to switch trains or anything, so we just get off at BHX. We check in and wait at BHX and drink horrible coffee we paid $5.00 for. We board our flight and goooooo.

We arrive in Dublin and the thing with all these airports is that they are not in the actual city, they are always outside the city, which means you have to find transportation to the city itself. Usually, at least in Italy it was easy, they had signs and stuff to inform you where you can take a bus that will drop you off in the city. Dublin, not so much. We had to figure it out on our own. But it only took us 10 minutes, not too long. We got on the bus, and the bus dropped us off about a 10 minute walk away from our hostel, but doesn't tell us where it will pick us up when we go to the airport. Helpful. thanks.

Our hostel is amazing. Like a hotel!! Luckily, we got our own room and bathroom for wicked cheap. After we checked in and put down out backpack we went to the Dublin zoo!!! I love animals, I love zoos. I was so excited, even though it was about a 2 mile walk. It was well worth it. Heather and I were both really, really tired but we did it anyway. We walked around the zoo and saw monkey's having sex. in public. where CHILDREN could see. It wasn't anything exciting... obviously, they are freakin monkeys but still. That is what most of my pictures consisted of... not monkey sex but of the zoo. We stay for about two hours and then head back to our hostel. We're tired, it was sprinkling, the walk back seemed so much longer than the walk there. Hungry, we turned to something cheap and right there; Burger King. I haven't had burger kind in a very, very long time. But it was the easiest thing. We get back to our hostel around 5pm. We take showers and heather goes to sleep. I stayed up and read, I knew if I went to bed at 5 I would be up a couple hours later. So I read for 2.5 hours and then crawled up in my bed. Let me just say it felt like it was about 4pm because the sun was still shinning. Anyway, I try to fall asleep when all of a sudden, I start crying. Not the little sobs, but seriously freaking out and crying uncontrollably. I was really, really tired, I get that now, but my mind just wouldn't stop. I started freaking out about my grades (My paper was available to pick up on Wednesday but I wasn't going to be in the UK so...) I hate school here. It makes me feel like I am stupid. So I was thinking that I am going to fail all my classes, my GPA would go down, I wouldn't get into grad school, I wouldn't graduate. blah blah blah. You know, the normal freak out I have. I really wanted to talk to someone, but Heather was asleep and I would have gotten charged an arm and a leg to call my mom or a friend back in the states. So I just went into the bathroom and cried. I was done about an hour later... feeling cried out and climbed back into bed. Two hours later, I woke up. Heather was brushing her teeth and lucky for us, there was a fucking school field trip so there were loads of kids in our hall... slamming doors, screaming, being stupid. But I talked with heather for a bit and made me feel better. I was in Dublin, on vacation... I needed to enjoy this. I was asleep 5 minutes later.

Wednesday was a new day! We decided to do more of the tourist things; Trinity College where they have The Book of Kells, National Museum of Ireland, National Art Museum, St. Patricks Cathedral, Dublin Castle. The works. We saw 7 out of the 10 top ten things to do in Dublin. Everything was wonderful. The guys were great too! haha, they all had blue eyes, while the girls all had green or brown eyes. It wasn't crowded (thank goodness) so everything was pretty easy to get in and out of. We didn't do too much shopping because we still had Thursday before we had to get back to the airport. The Book of Kells was great. So much history and amazing to see it. I didn't know too much about it, but it is incredible to see things that have lasted so long and mean so much to the people. The museums were great. I love art. We spend at least 2 hours in there. The Dublin Castle didn't really look like a castle. they had to rebuild it because destruction. And there was a huge meeting going on Thursday so we couldn't see half of the castle. The tour guide was cute looking... the one thing I couldn't stand was the way they say another. It was said "anutter" oi. drive me crazy. St. Patricks Cathedral was beautiful, as all cathedrals are. By this time it was about 6ish so we decided to find something to eat. We went to a local pub and had the best pininis of my life. yum. After that we go back to our hostel and just watch the sun slowly go down and just hangout and talk about leaving. We went to bed around 9, and it was still light out. However, our sleep was interrupted by god damn people. This girl a couple doors down started SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS saying "I AM A BLOKE. I AM A BLOKE!" followed by some man screaming at her. This lasted about 3o minutes. They were pounding on doors and stuff and making so much noise. I thought someone died. Jesus.

Thursday was spent shopping. I went through my money like woah. haha. It was great though. I finally bought myself something that will always remind me of Dublin, as well as a few other things for other people. We get back to the main street where the shuttle dropped us off and waited for the bus. We arrived at the airport about 3.5 hours before our flight, but I didn't want to do anything else. I finished my book and just relaxed. It was a long three days, so it was nice to just sit and not worry about anything.

Dublin was very beautiful, and I like it more than the UK. Especially Wolverhampton. haha. There are picture up, but there isn't many. mostly consisting of the zoo. It was a great last trip, and well worth it. especially since it hardly put a dent in my bank account. haha.

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

I have finished my paper. It took me about an hour. Whether or not it is any good, who knows, but whatever. I am over this school and their grading.

Usually I hate Sundays. It always marks the new week and makes me freak out because my planner is slammed with shit I have to do. You want to know what my planner says this week?
May 7th Monday- Turn in EN 3011 paper?
May 8th Tuesday- DUBLIN!
May 9th Wednesday- DUBLIN!
May 10th Thursday- DUBLIN! and Grandmas 3000th birthday! (she never tells me how old she really is. instead, she tells me she is anywhere from 1,000 years old and on)
May 11th Friday- EN3011 Paper due. If not submitted Monday, SUBMIT TODAY BEFORE 5pm.
May 12th Saturday- blank
May 13th Sunday- Mothers day (but it is already written on there)

Seriously. What an easy week. What an exciting week this new week is going to be. YAY!! I love his week. Although, I am going to love next week even more! Besides the whole two finals thing and dropping off one of my favorites at the airport at 4.30 in the morning on Wednesday. It is going to be a great week.

Today will consist of nothing. I might read Everything is Illuminated for a bit. I don't really' have anything to do, besides laundry. But I may just wait to do that tomorrow. I will be bored tomorrow, so who knows.

I walked into the shower this morning and this is what I see; the shower head on the ground, unattached from the little hose thing, chunks of hair everywhere, empty shampoo bottles, a dirty razor. seriously. I am so glad I only have to shower like 9 more times. I cant wait to shower in my shower at home. Our shower is amazing. I love it. I also can't wait to share a toilet with only one other lady, who would be my mother and isn't gross and doesn't puke all over the seat. And I will have toilet paper everyday! I wont have to steal toilet paper anymore!

I have become obsessed with looking at the weather channel. The rest of the time here (at least the next 10 days) is nothing but cloudy and showers here in Wolverhampton. haha. How horrible. We had such an amazing week last week, and now... it is going to be yukky until I leave. No good. I am getting excited... the 10 day forecast almost has the 19th/20th on it. haha. I am a dork, I know.

I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.

YAY! It is Saturday. Do the weekend dance with me.... This weekend is a good weekend. I can tell. It is the weekend before Dublin, and it is the weekend that I am determined to finish this last paper so I don't have to worry about it in Dublin. I am going to Dublin in three days!

I just finished House of Leaves. If you think you're a great reader, give this book a try. It will challenge you like no other book will ever challenge you. I want to buy his new book because it is just as confusing. All the people I know who have read this book finished it in months. I finished it in a week. It took over my life. I wanted nothing more than to sit down a read it. It even gave me nightmares!

Today was the Cambridge trip, and obviously I am not there. I didn't want to spend 20 dollars on a trip where I sit in a bus for three hours, stay in a town that has nothing to do unless you want to pay for everything, then come home completely exhausted and have another three hour bus ride. I would rather spend my time in the park, or doing this paper that I am putting off. I have the paper done, I just need to expand on it. I talked with my professor yesterday, and he said I just need to relate everything back to the definitions of realism. So about 2 or 3 hours left of this paper and I will be done. It is just wanting to sit here for two or three hours to do it that seems to be the problem.

I am going to be in the airport 11 hours on Saturday/Sunday before I leave on the 19th/20th. 11 HOURS. So, I was a little worried on what I was going to do, so Heather googled it (I love Google. it has an answer for EVERYTHING) and Birmingham International has free wireless. So, I get to sit on my computer for 11 hours on the Internet. I also bought three movies while I was here, so I am sure I will watch those.

I am getting excited for Dublin. Heather and I are going to have so much fun. And as soon as we get back, we have a week left until she leaves and about 9 days till I leave. We are having an early birthday dinner for me at my favorite pub here for our last fish and chips, followed by chocolate birthday cake with strawberries and vanilla ice cream and the sparkling wine my friend Hilary gave me. Then Tuesday, before Heather leaves, we are going to another favorite restaurant called Nandos where they give you fresh cooked chicken, and two sides of your choice. I am looking forward to it. We don't really go out to eat anymore, we always cook, so this will be a nice little treat.

It's a nice day outside, so I plan on going to the park. Might read one of the three books that I brought with me that I haven't read yet. I started Everything is Illuminated when I got here, so I might finish that. I also brought Invitation to a Beheading and Sense and Sensibility. I am sure I will finish these books by the time I leave. I will have so much spare time on my hands after this final and after my finals. I will need something to keep my mind occupied. Plus, they are all great books that I haven't been able to read yet. I am going to need a bigger bookshelf when I come home. My suitcase (it could fit a human) is mainly books. haha. I am addicted. And you know as soon as I get home I am going to head over to Barnes and Noble. :^)

May is a great month. Not only because I get to leave, but because it is my Grandma's birthday, mothers day, my birthday, and the end of the semester. Which means I will be a senior in college in two weeks! WOOHOO!!! Almost done... with the undergrad. Still a long ways to go.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

Well. It is official. Kyrie has her first hangover in her entire life. Oh My FUCKING JESUS! How horrible is this?? I do not like this at all. I never get hangovers. I do now.

Heather and I decided we should go out since it is our last Wednesday together in Wolverhampton (she leaves in 13 days and next Wednesday we will be in Dublin), so we decided we should go and see everyone we probably wont see ever again. We had a drink with dinner (gin and tonic) which led to me having three more, Heather having one more and then going to the store to buy two of her favorite drinks here. Then we go out to the SU, and blah blah blah. I had a BLAST though. It was the first time I didn't take care of anybody and I just let loose. I fell down (how embarrassing now that I look back on it), but I was dancing with my friend Ruben, so he helped me up. The DJ at the SU hates us. We request American songs. EVERYONE loves the American songs that he plays, and he didn't play ANY last night. Very disappointing when it came to the music. But I danced anyway. Everything is a little blurry still. But, there is this guy that I call my boyfriend, even though he doesn't even know I exist... and I always kind of got the gay vibe from him... and last night, I think I saw him kiss a guy...? I don't know. Certain parts of the night are a little fuzzy in my brain. We leave the SU when it closes and we go to ASDA to get some pizzas with our friends Blair and Dave. We make two pizzas, eat them and then Blair and I walked back to Randall lines to go to bed.

I woke up at 9.30 this morning... still drunk, feeling horrible, and having to pee. So I made the walk that seemed like it was a mile long to the toilet to pee. Come back into my room feeling like i am going to puke and lay on my bed. Trying to go back to sleep, and trying... the god damn construction is still going on and they like to drill holes in the ground in the morning, and not in the afternoon when everyone is awake. But I managed to get another two and a half hours of sleep. I drank some water which didn't really help (i don't know what to do in these situations... I've never had a hang over!) I just took a shower which helped a lot, but I don't think I will get any writing done for my paper. Maybe I will... I don't know how long these lovely hangovers last... :( I am not going to drink here... ever. Well, we are having wine after my birthday dinner, but it isn't like getting drunk.

Either way. It is May 3rd, it is beautiful outside (and has been for about a week! which is simply amazing), I feel like shit, and I go to Dublin in 5 days. I come home in 17 days, I get to work! I get to see friends and my amazing family. Pictures will come along soon. Heather is in control of the photos, so I can't get them until she uploads them.

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

It is the last day of April! Holy smokes. It seems like my time here in England has gone by so slow, but in all reality, I have already been here for 13 weeks. I am having random roller coaster emotions. Sometimes I can't wait to leave, while other days I want to stay here. Like today, it is a beautiful spring day, even though the wind is blowing, it is beautiful outside. I want nothing more than to go to the park and lay in the grass and read my book. I can't... I have class in about 45 minutes. But it would be lovely. The weather is supposed to continue like this the rest of the week until about Thursday. I would love to stay here... if I had my friends (the 4 or 5 that I can't live without) and my family. I look at my watch and it says it is only 8.45am at home. while it is 4.45pm here. the 8 hour time difference makes it hard, but as soon as I get back from Dublin, I am screwing up my sleep schedule to get back to Arizona's time. I will go to bed at 8.am here which is midnight back home and then staying up all night. That gives me a week to get back on a regular schedule and not be so jet lagged when I get back home. I have a lot to do in the three days before I go to Las Vegas.

Dublin is in 9 days!! I am very excited, even though the weather channel site says it is to be partly cloudy. I can deal with clouds and over cast (i have lived in England for 13 weeks now... overcast is constant), I just don't want it to rain. I am so excited, we are going to the Dublin Zoo!! Animals make me so happy. I can't wait. And I get to go shopping and buy things and maybe splurge on a nice little something for myself since I haven't done that. And then as soon as we bet back from Dublin, I will be home in 9 days. I will be into the single digits. 20 days right now. Not even in the teens yet! But I know it will go by fast, because it already has. And I have to pop out one more essay by the end of this week, so my days will go fast. It always goes fast when you have a deadline and something important due. Funny how that works.


Here's a picture of me and Heather on our daily walk in the Wolverhampton Park... by far the best sight in Wolverhampton. and there are even baby duckies there too. Look at that blue sky!!! Amazing. I love sunny days with blue skies. "nothing but blue skies, do i see" well said. Like my sunglasses? I got them for a pound. And they are amazing.

I am trying to be optimistic for once in my life. Shocking, eh? Well, I figure if I am optimistic and not think the worst of things, things might actually turn out better. And I am wearing a smile on my face, even during the most wretched times. My mum paid good money for this smile, can't let it go to waste. I keep telling my friend Stephanie to keep her head up and breathe. Things suck, and things are hard in life, but at least we're alive. That's all I gotta say. There is so much out there to see and do, it is horrible to spend the days sad and depressed. Even if buying a pint of ben and jerry's and eating it all makes you happy for just 30 minutes while consuming it... that is a whole 30 minutes of not thinking of your problem. It is easy to get over... you can't dwell on it.

Sheesh. Look at me... I am all wise and stuff. haha. At least trying to be wise. Lets just say a lot of change has come from me doing this experience, and with still 20 days to go, who knows what else might happen. Be prepared for the transformation peeps... it's a big one.

i wanted it so desperatley to be real

I was thinking about graduating college next year, because my friend L is getting ready to do it in two weeks. And I realized I didn't really do anything for my high school graduation, like go on a cruise or go on a trip... I was in "college" at the time over the summer until July. So I didn't really get to do anything fun after graduation. My little mind was spinning, and I was thinking that I want to take a trip somewhere when I graduate next spring. Granted, I am just going to go back to school, but this is a big deal... I am graduating from college with my undergrad! woohoo.

Now, the place I want to go... St. Lucia. I have never been anywhere tropical, and it just looks beautiful. I haven't dont any research because it probably wont happen, but that would be the next place I want to go. If you don't know what the hell I am talking about google it. under images too. it looks amazing. it sounds amazing. lets do it.

Going shopping tomorrow, but nothing else planned. Probably go for a walk in the park and do some reading. I actually get to read stuff I want to read. Although, Jude the Obscure was a phenomenal book. I loved it. But now, I am reading the ever so confusing Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves. It will take me awhile, but I am loving it. I suggest just going to the bookstore and look through it. It is interesting, especially once you get further into the book.

the friends that come and go, but never forgotten

There is a lady in Story of English class who I have become quiet fond of and enjoy. We always sit next to each other and just have loads of fun. We make little side comments about the teacher or the people in class, and just laugh. She travels a lot, and I like to live vicariously through her journeys to places I wont be able to see for awhile. Anyway, today was our last day in this class and unexpectedly, Hilary (which comes from the Latin word hilarious... means cheerful) pulled out a bag and said something along the lines of "Happy early birthday. It is safe to say I am going to miss you. It has been wonderful this semester" I adore her... she is simply amazing. She grew up in the hippie era, and still has a little of it in her... she is just so darn funny. I get home and I open the card, which is incredible by itself and then the two presents. This is what I got...

I got a bottle of sparkling wine from Barcelona Spain, some chocolate and of course the card. It was so very considerate of her to get me all these lovely things. It really was unexpected, and i am so very thankful. She gave me her e-mail address and said to keep in touch (which i plan on doing), and that I can come and stay with them anytime I like, and to bring my mum too. haha she is so lovely. I will miss her friendship... she is the only friend I have made in a class... every other class I am that girl that sits by herself and doesn't speak.

The week is slowly getting better. two of my best friends talked to my yesterday, which made me so very happy. I hadn't talked to them in a very long time (besides the e-mail) so talking to them over AIM really just made me happy. They are going back home on the 7th of may. Samantha's parents are there in Mexico until they leave. Their last day of school is Thursday. Lucky. Half way point for the week... very excited about that, but it also means I have a lot to accomplish this next week. Only one more class today and then one tomorrow and that is it. In a week from today, it will already be the second of May!

the waiting for this is going to suck.

this just adds to my whole "i can't wait for summer" statement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLud6yM47u8&eurl=http%253A%252F%252Fmugglenet%252Ecom%252F

watch it. like a billion times because i did. and it is amazing. like i almost peed my pants. this made my entire day. i am so excited and happy and anxious. holy smokes. this is going to be intense.

sometimes it feels like i am falling in the ocean

Today I woke up feeling awfully homesick. I don't really know why, or understand but I woke up feeling extremely sad and missing people. When I woke up, it was 8ish, so I called my friend Stephanie, because I knew she would be up back home since it was only 12. That helped a lot, but then I got a message from here that just made me cry. She's having a hard time, and I hate not being there for her. I know she will pull through, she's strong.

Finished the very rough draft of my paper about words so I can meet with my professor on Wednesday with it. I need to make sure I am doing it right, and what else I need to include in it. I need to get an A on the paper in order to get a C in her class, which will transfer to a B. I got the results from my American Literature paper... a B! woohoo! That is the boost that I need in order to continue. Seeing all these D grades just makes me not want to do anything. So now I have a little boost of self-esteem and confidence that I needed.

It is a cloudy day in England... shocking. It makes me want to stay in bed all day. I am not going to because that doesn't do me any good. I don't want to be sad and depressed all day. There is a football game right now and it is so amazing how crazy these people get. I want to go to one, but I don't know how much it costs and it almost frightens me. The British take their football seriously. And what I am hearing is only university football. I can't even imagine what it is like for a professional football game. I might do some reading, or some writing. Haven't been able to do that. I accomplished my goal today which was to finish the draft of my paper. I am sure later I will start my other paper. I just want to get this all over with so I can enjoy the rest of my time here and travel and just take it easy until my finals.

I can have oodles of charm when I want to.

It is Friday. Everyone jump around in joy and do a little song. You know you want to. Nothing planned for today except working on my paper. I might go to the park and do a little reading. The park should be a good vision to see. Spring is here, and I am falling in love with this place. It is amazing how we came back from Italy and the trees now have flowers on them... more flowers are slowly appearing and it stays light out until 8.15ish. Granted, we still had a lot of green in the winter, but honestly, I find this place just beautiful. There are trees right on the sidewalk from ASDA that are so full of white flowers and low to the ground (i can hit my head on them) and they smell amazing. There are still big, fluffy clouds of white in the blue sky, but at least they are breaking up... not a constant fog/haze whatever you want to call it.

After talking to my cousin the other day, she told me that her husband's cousin met Augusten Burroughs. ok. jealous?! yeah. Totally. I have not read any of his other books besides Running with Scissors because I never bought them and I didn't have the time. I plan on conquering them this summer though. As well as the other 20 books I have that I haven't read yet. Anyway... off subject. It made me jealous, like it would anyone if they like his book. But then I started thinking about all the people I would love to meet. Dead and alive. Granted, if I do end up in a publishing house (very unlikely) I would be able to meet loads of authors. Here is a list off of the top of my head of the people I want to meet.

Jane Austen, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Jim Adkins, Augusten Burroughs, Chuck Klosterman, Kurt Vonnegut, Damien Rice, TS Eliot, E.E. Cummings, Emily Dickenson, da Vinci, Charles Dickens, Edith Wharton, Mark Danielewski, Jackie O., JFK, Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, The Dali Lama, Irvine Welsh, Robert Frost, Saul Williams, Dave Eggers, Hunter S. Thompson, J.K. Rowling, Henry David Thoreau, Truman Capote, Albert Einstein, Abe Lincoln. Just to name a few.

Oxford tomorrow. Very exciting. The lady in my Story of English class told me that you can't miss the campus. Apparently most of the city if the campus, and then there are shopping areas and stuff around the city. So I am excited to walk around the campus and go into the library. I heard they have a grand library. There will be pictures either later tomorrow night or Sunday.

1 month.

Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.

Best question today; "You have a lot of... gay friends. are you OK with that?"

Some people just crack me up... because they are ridiculous and the things that come out of their mouths are so... stupid. But I couldn't help but laugh. I was thinking to myself "Did you really just say that? People really say these things?!" Laughter cures any problem... even if the problem goes away for only 5 minutes. It was 5 minutes that we forget about whatever is bothering us and just laugh.

Tuesday is gone now. The sun is slowing setting and probably wont set for another hour. it is 7.43 pm as I write this. I don't have class on Tuesdays so I try and use it the best way I can, which in the past couple of weeks has been to do nothing. If you were all wondering if I finished Beloved, I did... last night after my class. Nevertheless, I spent today getting ready for the day and going to the library to pick up some last minute sources for my essay that I have been working on for the past three weeks. However, after getting my paper back last night from another class, I am not feeling confident in my writing. I got a D on said paper, and while I am very glad it isn't an "E" (F) it still makes me feel stupid. The main problem; not enough secondary reading to support my argument. Too much reading of the text to support my argument. This is what I do back home. I analyze texts and do it very well, if I do say so myself. My Kurt Cobain paper is by far my favorite piece of prose I have ever written. I talked with the professor and he said that I had an argument, he just wanted more secondary reading and knowledge than what I gave him. So my next paper will be filled with secondary sources so I get an A on it... I am determined. Anyway, I have a paper due tomorrow... and this professor is so unapproachable as well as the hardest in the English Department here. So lets just say I tried my best. I am hoping for at least a C, but if I get a D, that is OK with me... better than an E (F). So the next three weeks... my Tuesdays, Thursdays and part of Fridays will be spent in the library, gathering material to write two more papers and then I am done with papers and just have two tests.

On a lighter note, Oxford is this Saturday and I couldn't be more excited to leave this town again. I am hoping that they drop us off by the campus so I can spend the whole day there... pretending to be a student. Buy a shirt or two and just enjoy a different college. I like Wolverhampton for small things that I find kind and lovable... but there are things that I hate about this city. It comes with every city you live in I guess. I have been here 12 weeks already! I guess the time has flown by... I realized it today when I was looking at my planner. When I am done with this, I will have spent 1/3 of the year in England. Crazy to think about because a lot of people (myself included) thought I couldn't do it.

Being far away has also made me realize the people I truly care about... with friends. I have realized I can live without a few and suffer immensely without some. I have about 5 or 6 friends who I miss to the point where I cry. The bonds I have created with some people these past three years of college are (I believe) strong enough to last a lifetime. I have also realized that my mom is an amazing woman. Being here has put a lot in perspective for me. Granted, I have my moments where I want to rip off her head and put it on a stick outside (and i am sure she wants to do the same to me at times), I would not be the person I am now without her. Things may not be the way they used to, and they probably never will be... but there is still a lifetime of making new memories and a new bond. Something to look forward to upon my return.

I plan on having tonight to myself. A night where I don't do any work, because honestly, I have been doing a great job by keeping up with all my stuff. I want to relax. Watch a movie and enjoy the things I have accomplished thus far.

i ain't ever going to understand

Woke up at 8.12am. Automatic alarm that I seem to be getting from my grandma. I can't sleep in for the life of me. Open windows and it is overcast. Shocking? Yes, actually. The past two/three days have been amazing. Even went to the park on Saturday and got a tan. However, this is England, and you cannot count on the weather to stay persistent. Made the bed and made my way to closet to get toilet paper (I steal toilet paper from the bathroom every time I go because we don't get toilet paper often... and I never want to not have any), make my hazy walk to the bathroom where I open the stall with a toilet that is covered in vomit... oh, and there is blood on the floor. not kidding. Go to the other stall, the toilet seat is broken off the toilet and is laying next to it. Not a great way to kick the new week off, but I debated about my options. 1. Clean the toilet with vomit, while vomiting on it again, which would result in still having puke on it. 2. Use the Toilet that doesn't have a seat... manage to not touch my bumbum on the actual toilet and not peeing all over myself. 3. Just walk a whole 15 seconds to the guy bathroom and suck it up.

Which would you choose?

I chose option number 3. Seriously, how do people do that? Don't they realize that they use the toilets too and puking over the only working toilet is not only disgusting but rude. I don't want to look at puke when I wake up in the morning... I have never had such disgusting living arrangements in my life. The hostel we stayed in in Rome was better than what I deal with here. I am glad I paid $2000 for a room that feels like a prison cell, a bathroom that gets cleaned once a week (when in fact it is supposed to be cleaned everyday) and OBNOXIOUS people laughing and talking at all hours of the morning.

Come back to my room, wash my face and plan out my day. I need to finish Beloved by Toni Morrison today. It is due Thursday. Already 100 pages into it, shouldn't be too bad. it is only 324 pages. I read another 100 pages then decided I needed a break. Decided it would be best to take a shower. That will delay my reading any further... however, not too sure about the showering conditions, since our shower hadn't been cleaned in probably two or three weeks (thank goodness for shower shoes). Grab all the proper materials to have a successful shower, and to my amazement, the bathroom has been cleaned and the shower looks cleaned! Washing the hair is still weird, and it takes some getting used to. I am used to standing in the shower for five minutes to just rinse all the soap out of my hair... now it takes me about 30 seconds. Finish that business and walk back to the room. Get dressed and pick up the book again. reading.... and more reading...

20 minutes later I am packing all my clothes that I brought with me to see if they can all fit into my backpacking backpack, since my suitcase is filled with books and other heavy shit. They can. After jumping around in joy, unpacked the backpack and re-folded all my clothes (talk about putting something off). Pick up the book again, realizing home isn't too far off and I will only have one suitcase and my backpack to hold all my stuff. Start reading...

10 minutes later I am thinking about the airport and seeing my momma and Stephanie there. God, how exciting... I was thinking about throwing all my shit on the ground as soon as I saw them and running. But it all played in slow motion with music in my head (I have a super imagination). Very dramatic. I get so excited I can't read, so I open up my lovely journal and start writing. That lasts about 5 minutes.

I decide I need to put in the contacts and do the makeup. I feel like a guy if I am not wearing makeup with this haircut, so I did that. That didn't take nearly as long as I wanted. Debated on whether or not I should wash my face and try a new colour. Decided not to.

Sat down on my bed and looked at the book and said "I WILL CONQUER YOU, BITCH!" and picked it up and started reading.

20 minutes later... I am here writing this blog. It is only 2.15pm. I don't need to start heading to class for about 3 hours and 30 minutes. What a great Monday.

the latest dramatic event

I cut off all my hair. It was not supposed to be this short, but the lady kept talking and cutting. It is starting to grow on me, especially with all the kind, genuine words my friends and family have shot my way. I washed my hair and it took a whole 30 seconds instead of 2 minutes. Never have I had my hair this short... so the day I got it done, lets just say I freaked out. But it is just hair, it will grow back. It will keep me nice and cool over the summer. And talk about low maintenance. You only live once, so might as well do something you never thought you could/would do!!

memories of a lifetime

Went to the lovely country of Italy for the week. Went through every kind of emotion possible; happiness, excitement, anger, annoyance, tired, awake, etc. etc. Here's how a play by play on what my trip was like.

April 2nd/3rd- Woke up, took a shower and did a load of laundry. Packed and unpacked all my clothes at least 10 times. I am far too paranoid about not having everything or not having enough of something. Hung out until about 9pm then went to Heathers to help her bring her stuff here. Ordered some disgusting pizza and watched The Family Stone. At 2.15am on the 4th we walked to the bus station in Wolverhampton to catch our shuttle to take us to London Stansted airport, which is about 5 hours away. I can't sleep on buses or planes anymore, so I was up the entire time. Watched the sunrise. Not excited yet... just kind of like "whatever". Get to London airport, check in and wait an hour or two for our flight. The flight is about an hour and a half, and everyone fell asleep besides me. We get to Venice and take a bus to the Mestre station where all the buses are and to get to the hotel. Get to the center and ask help on how to get to our hotel. I do the asking... I ask for help now if I don't know what the hell I am doing. Very big accomplishment on my part! Anyway, we get to our hotel, check in and just all drop on our beds. Took about an hour nap... I had been up for 38+ hours. Unpack some of our shit and put our passports and stuff in our little safe and went to go get food. After food, came back, took showers and passed out.

April 4th- Wake up early and go to the breakfast buffet our hotel supplied for us. Hop on the #2 bus and go to Venice. We were not staying on the island, so we had to take a 30 minute bus ride, but we didn't pay for it. They don't really care about you paying or not. We get to Venice and as soon as you walk out of the bus area, you see the grand canal. Now, I am not going to lie, I wasn't all that excited. I mean, I think I was, but I just didn't feel it. I was in shock that I was actually doing this. But I started smiling and just trying to look at everything and walk at the same time. The first day we made our way to Piazza San Marco, where they have San Marco Basilica and a bunch of Museums like Doges Palace and such. We waited in line for about 30 minutes maybe and paid to go inside. The Basilica was amazing! I wish we could have taken pictures. It was covered in gold chips and was just huge. I love going into churches because they are all so different. We walked around, but every little section wanted more money, so we stayed away. We did however spend money to go to the top of the Basilica that looks out on Piazza San Marco. There was a little museum on top as well with material that was in the Basilica at one point and paintings from the old times. It was really amazing. After that, we went over to Doges Palace and did that museum. That one was mostly columns that used to hold up the building. Some art, but not much. It was huge though. It took us about an hour to get through it all. We got to see some apartments, were just ridiculously big, and extravagant. We even saw the prison cells where a certain Casanova was held. Once we were done there, we went to another museum on the other side of the Piazza that had a lot of art in it. It sucked that everything was in Italian, but it was nice just looking at the pictures. Obviously most of the paintings were about Jesus and Madonna and such. Italians take much pride in their religion. After that, we went and got some Gelato and hung out by the water side. We got to see another island, and I can't remember what it is called. It just had a huge church on it. Heather was telling me after ten years of being dead, they dig you up because there isnt enough room to bury everyone. So don't get burried in Italy! We did a little window shopping on our way back to the bus place. So many cute little stores. Murano glass is a huge thing there, obviously, because the island where they do all the glass blowing it right there. It was pretty cheap in Euros, but as soon as you convert it, it isnt so cheap. But the Euros are better than the pound, which makes me really happy. After going into a few shops and just looking around we went and grabbed something to eat before we headed back to our hotel. The island itself had a better selection of food than that was near our hotel, which didn't have anything. So we ate dinner on the grand canal and just watched the sun start to set. We didn't want to stay out there too long because we didn't want to ride public transportation at night, especially with the weirdo's. So we got on the bus after dinner and made our way back to the hotel where we all took showers and layed on the beds. The island is so beautiful. I can't emphasis that enough. The water through out the canals are so warm and inviting. I wanted to jump in at times because it just looked so friendly. The little streets were cute, and almost all the apartments had little flower boxes over the windows. The island is so quiet. The only thing you hear are people and the occasional motorboat. It was so nice not hearing cars or horns honking... There were a lot of people though, but that was ok.

April 5th- Woke up early again, and repeated the process of the morning. The first thing we did today was go to the Galleria Academia. More art, I love it. Jackie is not a fan of art so she didn't like it too much, but Heather and I had a blast. Being an artist requires so much talent, especially when it comes to paintings! I wish I could paint like that, but the only thing I am good at when it comes to paintings are abstract. haha. Anyway, it took us awhile to walk through that, and then we made our way back to the Piazza, where we sat and soaked up the sun again. Then Heather and I decided we wanted to shop, so we start walking the main little roads to all the cute shops. Jackie left us to go do her own thing, so Heather went and got some Gelato and walked around the streets by ourselves. Went into a lot of little shops. I bought myself a Murano blown glass ring which is wicked cute. Heather bought one too, but hers is green and mine is purple with silver. We then ventured on the other side of the Grand Canal to find a church thing that was in Heather's travel book. So we went, we saw and we turned around. haha. There is a little canal that was on the road that we were walking on, so we went and sat down next to it on the steps and just talked and soaked up the sun. That is when I started to get a sunburn. It was so nice though. No tourists just locals. It was really nice to just be there with Heather and talk. We then had ourselves a little dinner before we went back to the hotel. On our way back to the hotel, we got on the bus, and there was a group of about 5 teenage boys. Well, Heather and I were talking, and as soon as they heard us they started whispering among themselves. One of them just kept asking information and touching my hand and trying to talk to us and pick us up. Finally Heather said "STOP IT!" so they stopped. I was a little worried that they were going to follow us because they asked if we were going to the Mestre station. But they got off there and we rested easy. We got back to the hotel and just hung out. Had to get ready for leaving early in the morning to catch a bus to take us to the Mestre station to catch yet another bus to take us to the airport.

April 6th-Woke up at 4.30 to catch the bus. Got to the Mestre station and waited for the other bus. Got to the airport, checked in and caught our plane to go to Rome. We got into Rome probably around 11ish. Our hostel was just up the street, so that was nice. However, our hostel was not that nice. I mean, it is great to just sleep in, but if you wanted to just relax, you couldn't/wouldn't want to go back and hang out. After we check in and dropped our stuff off, we got a map and started walking. My feet were killing me by this time because we had walked the island of Venice loads of times. We made our way to the Coliseum. We didn't go into it, but we looked around and went into the Roman Forum. It is so crazy how there was a society before and that the remains are still there! There is just so much history to it all and it makes me want to read up on the history of Rome, because I felt stupid. I didn't know what anything was, except the huge attractions of course, but seeing it makes you want to learn about it. After that, we made our way to "the wedding cake" also more famously known as The Vittoriano which seems to have been under some kind of construction because there was construction stuff on it. haha. After that we made our way to St. Peters Square where the Vatican is. It was so beautiful. Although, they had a lot of it blocked off because they were setting up for easter Sunday and the thousands of chairs. We hung out there and the Pope was in, so they were showing what he was doing on the screens. Saw his apartment where he gives his blessings and stuff. Really cool to say that I was there. After hanging out there, we went and grabbed some dinner and went back to the Coliseum. The Pope was there!!! It was really awesome. LOADS of people, but cool nonetheless. After that we went back to our hostel and crashed. We walked the entire city in the first day we got there. We saw a lot more little things that are not famous. Rome is for sure much bigger and more crowded than Venice. And very, very dirty.

April 7th-Woke up and went to the Coliseum. Stood in line for about an hour. Got a really nice sunburn. The Coliseum is just amazing. It is so big and so rich with history. That is the one thing I loved about Rome... there is so much history there. But I don't know any of it, which makes me more interested to learn it because I have been there, and I can picture things in my head when I read them. We walked around the entire thing and took pictures. We then made our way back into the Roman Forum where we got into the Palatino. Don't know much about that either, but it was just filled with grass and gardens. There is a look out where you can see the entire Roman Forum. We layed out on the grass for a bit and went into another museum. The built it on part of a ruin and explained the different rooms and what they found in the rooms. It was really interesting. We also went to Trevi fountain. It was crazy! so many people... it was ridiculous. But Heather and I threw a coin over our left shoulder with our right hand... the tradition. Once done with that, we went to this park, and there is the Galleria Borghesie (or however you spell it. if you watched the bachelor last season, he was the Italian Prince on the show. this was his families little area. it was really cool. i kept relating things to the show!!) We watched the sunset over Rome. The Vatican was in sight, and the entire city of Rome really. It was amazing what a view we had up there. After we were done there, we went back to our hostel to collect ourselves and there was a message from Maria, Heathers friend, who left her phone number so we can meet up with her on Sunday. After Heather get a hold of her, we went to bed.

April 8th- Easter Sunday... Jackie went to Mass at the Vatican while Heather and I met Maria downstairs and hung out with her the entire day. We went back to her place (she is doing studying abroad as well) and hung out. It was so nice to be in a comfortable place and just relax. We had been doing so much walking ALL the time that this was a nice treat. We watched a movie, and then Maria and her friend cooked us easter dinner. It was delicious. We had Ravioli with salad, and then chocolate cake with strawberries after. By the time we were done it about about 10.50 and the metro closes at like 11, so we just stayed at Marias. We made plans to go to the Vatican on Monday, but after looking at the website, it was closed on Monday. :( that was the ONE thing I really wanted to do. Go to the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel, the Vatican Museum, and I didnt get to go. But when I threw my coin into the trevi fountain, I made a promise to myself that I would go back there. So I will get to do that.

April 9th-Hung out with Maria all day again. We went back to our hostel around 11am to take showers and get ready for the new day while Maria had lunch with her cousin. After that, we walked around Rome. We went and found the face thing... I don't remember what it is called, but it is in a movie and it is said to say that if you told a lie while your hand was in there, it would cut it off. We waited in line for that, and saw it. It was really cool, and I still have both of my hands!! We went back to Maria's after that and met up with her roommates and went to dinner. It was nice to feel like I was in college again. haha, With college girls just talking and shoving our faces with food. It was nice. We made our way to the metro and back to hour hostel. We packed and got ready to leave.

April 10th-Long day. We woke up at 6.00 so we could catch a bus to take us back to the airport. checked in and got on a plane. The plane ride this time was like 2.5 hours. I decided to sit by the window, even though I dont really like it because I wanted to see the countries we were flying over. I don't know what countries we flew over, but it was still cool. We got off the plane, had some lunch and waited around for another bus to take us about to Wolverhampton. It was so nice being back in England. The trees are finally looking alive with flowers on them, and it was gorgeous outside. Nice weather and no clouds!!! We got back into Wolverhampton and we all pretty much ran back to our rooms. Heather came up with me because she left her computer and stuff in my room because my dorm has security. So after that, she left and I took a much needed shower and uploaded all my pictures.

The trip was amazing. There were moments when I wanted to shoot myself, or somebody, but it was nice. I never thought I would be able to travel like I am. I never thought I would go to college for that matter, and now I am in college and in a different country! I am so proud of myself for doing all this. I loved Italy, and I can't wait for Dublin, which is in 3 weeks!! and then another 10 days once i return and i go home! This is going by fast now, but I am very thankful for that. I have learned so much about myself and about other people. Going to Italy, and staying in a hostel proves I can deal with not being pampered in a hotel. This is something I will hold with me forever, and I am so happy. I can be your tour guide when you go to Venice and Rome. I know the places like the back of hand. Especially Venice.

back from Italy...

but not in the mood to write. Pictures are uploaded, so go to http://community.webshots.com/user/Kyrielynn6 and visit. View them as a slide show... it is just better that way. I will write tomorrow and give you all the details.

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Can I just say that this week has gone by at snail speed No joke... it feels like Sunday but it is only Saturday. I woke up an hour ago and I already know that it is going to be another looooong day. Sure, I could be reading the numerous books on my reading list for this semester, or writing the 2.5 papers for the end of the term, but that would require motivation, and I don't have any. School here is pathetic. Why are they so hard and strict on things, but yet they don't teach you or tell you or help you on something they want you to do. It makes no sense. No wonder 40% of freshman drop out of college here... it isn't because they are not motivated, it is because teaching here is wretched and not really teaching.

Italy is in a couple of days. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I am trying not to be the worry wort we all know I am, and so far I have done a pretty good job of it. My friend Jackie is bringing her laptop with us, so I may be able to post a blog or two or get some pictures up on the website I have, but I am making no promises. My camera card only holds 255 photos, so I will use all my photos probably in Venice and then will have to steal all the pictures Heather takes for the rest of the trip. And after Italy, we have about three more weeks of school and then Heather and I go to Dublin in May! Very excited about that. So I need to have all my papers done by May 8th. Which is fine because one is due the 18th of this month and I only have a couple more hundred words left, the next one is for my story of English class, where I had to pick 5 words and say when they were coined, where they come from, etc. etc. and that one is only 1500 words. I already have the words and an outline so I just need to write the paper. And then one more for my Contemp. Literature post 1945 class and he has not given us the questions yet, so I can't work on that one. As soon as I am done with my papers, I just have two exams on the 16th and 17th then I am done! And since I am coming home sooner, I am even more excited!! I also get to take the school trip to Llandudno in Wales. That trip is on the 19th of May, so the day before I leave! I am glad that I will be able to make that trip... I always wanted to go to Wales. When we get back from Spring Break, the following Saturday, the 21st, we are going to Oxford! Heather and I bought our ticket for it yesterday. I want to get a shirt. haha.

The sun is out today, so I might take advantage of the Wolverhampton Park. Hang out with the ducks and just soak up the sun. Who knows when it will come back!!

you can't wait for inspiration. you have to go after if with a club

Last night, Heather and I decided that we wanted to go out to the SU and have a good time. That we did. Well, the thing about me is that while I drink and get a little drunk, as soon as something happens to a friend I automatically sober up and feel it is my responsibility to make sure they will be ok. This is what happened tonight when a friend started fighting with her other friend. I was having such a good time, and then as soon as she started going crazy and yelling I was like "Oh great, I get to play mommy tonight". So, I sobered up and just took it easy. I did have a lot of fun though. Especially since the day wasn't all that great due to certain circumstances.

I only have one class today, and that is in 5.5 hours. So Heather and I are going to walk to the book store to get some mini-maps of Venice and Rome as well as a mini dictionary. Just to be safe. Then I need to register for my classes at 9pm. I can't wait to go back to school at NAU. jesus. After that, I think I am going to call continental, because according to the guy yesterday that we talked to, it would only be $200.00 to change my flight. Granted, I would be flying home on my birthday, but I would rather be going home than sitting in my room by myself. Which is what I would do for the next 10 days if I wasn't leaving early. All my friends are leaving early, so there wouldn't be much for me to do. I am not a fan of traveling by myself.

I am going to try and finish a paper this week so I don't have to look at it for ten days while I am in Italy, since it is due the Wednesday after we get back. Then only two more essays and then two more tests and then I am done. This week is going pretty slow... but maybe it is just me. It is just Italy is seriously, right around the corner and I want it to be here already!! I can't wait for warm weather.

a day in the town that smelt of cookies

Yesterday we went to York on our school trip. York was not the best trip so far... I liked the rich history and the oldness to it, but it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. When we first leave the bus, Heather and I look at each other and go "it smells like cookies" and that smell taunted us the entire trip and we never found any! Very sad. Anyway, we made our way to the largest Gothic cathedral in the north and took some pictures. They wanted 7 pounds to do stuff inside of it so we decided to walk around a bit more. We made our way to the Castle Museum (don't let the name fool you... there was nothing about castles). We "went back in time to the Victorian ages" like it said. We saw the way people dressed when they were married, mourning a loved one, giving birth, etc. etc. Also learned about how people washed their clothes and the inventions for things like a toilet over time. It was very cool, but very long. By the time we were done with the first half I was ready to leave. Although, during the second half, we got to play outside. Jackie and I played a game of tic-tac-toe and did some hoola hooping. That was pretty much the highlight of the castle museum. After that, we decided to eat because we had an hour, so we found a wicked cheap cafe (which was like a dennys) and had some food. After our meal we headed back to the bus and got ready for the three hour bus ride home. I was exhausted but didn't sleep. Heather and I play DJ when we go on these trips. It is basically her taking my ipod and playing random songs. It is nice, because she usually picks songs that I have not heard in awhile.

Anyway, York was a nice day trip, but I have no need to go back to it. There are some pictures http://community.webshots.com/user/Kyrielynn6 but not many. Now it is homework day!! Also, I am not 8 hours ahead of everyone instead of 7. We do daylights saving time here, so now I am pretty much a whole day ahead of you :( That is the one thing that sucks... the time change. So you guys are all asleep considering it is only 3.40am. hahaha. and it is 11.40 here. oh jeez.

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

Heather and I went and saw "Becoming Jane" tonight; the autobiography of Jane Austen. (Aunt Jeri- I HIGHLY recommend you go and see this.) It is amazing. I have obviously read Jane Austen and think her a genius. Pride and Prejudice by far my favorite novel as well as the movie that was just recently released. I want to read more about Jane Austen, I heard that there were some great autobiographies of her out there, it is just a matter of me trying to find a decent book store here. There is a Borders, but... I am not a fan of Borders all that much. Anyway, it was wonderful seeing a movie about one of the best women writers out there. Her and Virgina Woolf are my favorite female writers. I wont give any information about the movie except that I have never been so inspired. I have not done my own writing in two years, and while I know it is in me, I just don't find the inspiration now. I think perhaps since I am busy with school that my mind doesn't wonder like it usually does. I thought for sure I would get something here, but little did I know school would be so consuming. I have part of my "book" here with me... although I left the other half I have yet to type at home somewhere. Either way, I know it will come back to me. Perhaps taking a creative-non fiction capstone course next semester will get me going again.

I finally got to go to the park today, which is just brilliant!! It isn't as beautiful as the Shrewsbury garden I saw, but it was still nice. Today was the first sunny, semi-warm day, so after class Heather took me there. Lots of ducks, geese, a swan and little squirrels. Next time we are bringing bread and nuts--we felt bad for not having anything for them. Once the weather gets nicer, we plan on going there and doing reading and such. But who knows when the weather will get nice... probably not until we leave

i will spin around in my highest heels

Another week has started, and it makes number 8. This seems to be going by slowly. I know that as soon as Easter Break is over, it will speed along hastily.

I turned in my paper yesterday. I don't feel too confident about it, but I am fairly sure I will get a passing grade. I hope I get a passing grade. haha. I waited until the last minute because I have never actually done that before... I am the person that sees an assignment due and does it one or two weeks before it needs to be done so I can go and re-read it and edit things. So, I figure I would try and wait till the last minute to get inspiration for the paper. I got it, but it was more of a panic inspiration. I popped out 1500 words in about 2 hours. The thing about school here is that I don't feel like I am in school. I know that I wasn't technically here for school but for the experience and being able to travel, but I LOVE school. I get excited when the new semester starts. But here, I hate going to class because I feel it as a waste of time (although, I don't know what I would be doing if I didn't go to class). I am starting my paper that is not due until after Easter Break today when Heather and I go to the library. I just want to get a good start on it so I don't have to panic about it when I go on Easter Break. We all know how I let little things like that ruin experiences, and Italy needs to have all my attention. I am going to Italy in two weeks from today. That really is a crazy thought.

I have realized that I will come back home with more books than anything else. I am afraid to ship them home because of how much money it will be. I mean, it is 50 pence ($1.00) to send ONE post card. I packed half of them and they take up the bottom half of my suitcase. Good thing I have my backpacking backpack to shove all my clothes in. I am for sure cleaning out my wardrobe before I leave... I have two pairs of jeans that I have had for about a year that are absolute shit, so those will not be going home with me. I have been trying to keep up with my reading, but it is difficult that one professor assigns four 600+ paged books and expect us to have them read every two weeks. Especially with authors such as George Eliot, and Charles Dickens. As well as the other 12 novels I need to read. Not my cup of tea.

York this weekend. Excited but kind of scared, considering I have no idea what there is to do in York. Either way, it will be nice to get away from Wolverhampton for the day and eat chocolate covered raisins since that is the holiday on Saturday (Heather made a calender that has holidays on every day, and Saturday is chocolate covered raisin day). Yesterday was poultry day so we had chicken for dinner and Mr. Mash which is dried potato. Not too bad for England, but not homemade or the boxed kind I love at home. We do what we can.

Today seems like it will be a good day, weather wise. Yesterday and the day previous was wretched. It would be sunny out and then five minutes later there would be hail, lightning and thunder. Plus is was wicked cold and the wind about killed me walking home from class. Lets just hope the blue skies I see now will remain for the rest of the day.

The fourth Harry Potter tonight with Heather. We have watched the first three... She had never seen them, so I told her it was a must if she wanted to remain my friend. She likes them, so I am glad it isn't torture for her. I am off to start another day in the lovely England.

A day in Pride and Prejudice

Yesterday Mike, Heather, Jackie and myself went to Chesterfield to go to the Chatsworth house that is known as "Pemberley" in Jane Austen's novel Pride and Prejudice. One of my favorite novels/movies of all times. For only 40 pounds we got all our transportation there and inside the house.

We wake up at 7 in the morning to meet outside my dorm at 7.45 to start our journey. We were planning on taking the 8.40 national express bus, but missed it by six minutes. So we hung out in Birmingham until the next bus at 11. I was actually awake for the whole ride, which is strange because I usually sleep on bus rides. So I got to see a lot of the country side. Chesterfield is in the National Peak District so there is a lot of good sights of the country.

We arrive in Chesterfield around 12.50 and ask for help to try and get to Chatsworth House. Lucky for us, a bus was about to pull up in 5 minutes. However, we had to wait in the cold! It was soooo cold outside, and I only had my little cardigan because Wolverhampton was so beautiful. You would think I would learn about the weather changing every 5 minutes here. Anyway, it was about a 30 minute bus ride to where we needed to be dropped off. As soon as we left the bus, you could smell horse/cow manure. The smell doesn't bother me... in fact, when I pictured England, I thought it would smell like this. We start our walk into the gardens. It was so beautiful. Hills of rolling green grass, even a little stream that followed us all the way to the house. Even though it was overcast, it was amazing. There was just so much nature and trees that had leaves on them!! About 10 minutes into our walk, we start to see Chatsworth House. From a distance (and even up close for that matter) it looks like it was burned, but it is just the weathering on it. We get closer and closer, and I get more and more excited. Perhaps I am a dork because I was so excited, but this was just the highlight of my month!!

The house itself is huge. I could not get a whole shot of it in my camera! This is just the side of the house, so you can't see the water that is in the front of the house as shown in the movie. But we walk into a little courtyard and open one of the doors to get in, pay 8 pound 50 and go in. As soon as I walked in, my breath was taken away. There is so much detail in every single room... it took so long for this to get done. And the fact that all of it is pretty much the same way is amazing.

When we first enter, we are in the painted room. If you've seen the movie, it is the one room that Lizzy and her family walk into at first and Lizzy is looking at the ceiling. The room with the black and white tiled flooring. Every wall/ceiling was painted. And as we walked through the rest of the house, it was obvious that almost every single room had a painted ceiling!!

Then at the very end of the little tour, we go into the sculpture room... once again, if you've seen the movie, it is the one that holds all the sculptures (obviously...) and the one of Mr. Darcy that Lizzy looks at. It was there! I guess they left it there because what else are they going to do with it?! It was so cool looking at it and just being there. I have such a huge imagination and reading Austen's novel and watching the movie just boosted my imagination. I am so glad that it wasn't entirely made up (the movie) that they actually used scenes and stuff from the house. It made it more real to me.

After the house, we go into the gardens, which is about 300+ acres. We walk to the front of the house and take some pictures. It was just like the movie, once again. It was so pretty just looking at it. It would be amazing to live in a house like this, but also kind of weird. It had so much stuff, and we probably only saw 1/4 of the house. The other parts were all blocked off and it took us an hour. I wish we could have spent more time there, but we were on a tight schedule so we didn't miss our bus back into Birmingham.

This was the highlight of my month. Very worth the 40 pounds ($80.00)!!! Just to say I was there and got to look at the things. It made Pride and Prejudice more real for me. Sure, it isn't a different country or something everyone knows about, but to me it was incredible. Perhaps I am a dork because I was so excited, but these are the things that make me happy. While small and not so known, I know it and that is all that matters.

Go look at me 106 pictures I took!! http://community.webshots.com/user/Kyrielynn6 granted some of them look the same, but that is how I do it... I like taking some of the same pictures incase one turns out and one doesn't. I hope you enjoy them!!

We got back into Wolverhampton around 8.45. We were all beat and exhausted so we went and ate some food and then I came back home, checked e-mail and stuff and went to bed. It feels like it should be Sunday, but it is only Saturday!!

Tonight I think we are doing a Harry Potter night before Mike leaves. We have to wake up at like 4 in the morning to take him to the airport, and then Heather and I are going to the Library all day tomorrow because I have a paper due on Monday that I have not really started. WOOHOO!!

And, in two weeks... I will be in ITALY! Holy smokes... this is amazing. Also, next Saturday is our school trip to York, so that should be fun.

Another Wednesday Night

But this one is an exception because the last thing I remember is drinking my second snake bite around 11pm, looking at the door and going "matt is not coming like he said he was" Then everything is a little nonexsistent in my brain. I guess it happens sometimes.

No plans for today. Might go to the park, might work on my paper a bit. Not really sure. I do know that I don't really want to spend any money. we'll see what today brings. hopefully some more sunshine!

Cadbury Deliciousness

Cadbury World today. Holy smokes so much chocolate. We paid ten pounds to get in and as soon as we started walking into the exhibit we got handed two things of chocolate: cadbury buttons and a twirl bar. We look around, don't really read anything (we pretty much went for the chocolate), watched a couple of films... learned how they made the cadbury eggs, roses, dairy milk bars, etc. etc. saw chocolate coming through a little spot up to packaging, saw chocolate mixing... Oh my god. CHOCOLATE HEAVEN! We got more free chocolate as we left one of the exhibits. Then we went and did a little ride that reminded me of It's a Small World, but it was Cocoa bean world. Crazy. We then got to "make our own" chocolate where they ask you what you want in the bottom of a cup and then put cadbury chocolate all over it. Mine was really good. I got little biscuit thingies. Too much for me though, so I only had a couple of bites and then gave the rest to Heather. After the Cadbury World, we made our way back to the train station because there is a place where they put all the retarded chocolate that didn't meet the standards or whatever for wicked cheap. I got 32 candy bars for 8 dollars. THIRTY TWO CADBURY CANDY BARS FOR ONLY EIGHT DOLLARS. I got 8 regular dairy milk bars, 8 dairy milk caramel bars, 8 dairy milk mint bars, and 8 dairy milk biscuit bars. I am so chocolated out though. The thought of chocolate makes me want to hurl. I had so much today. I don't feel too much like an oinker because we did a lot of walking today. But chocolate was my breakfast/lunch today and then at 5.30 we went and had an actual dinner.

I am not doing my paper. OBVIOUSLY, since I am informing everyone of my chocolate experience. I did find quotes and typed them in... just didn't explain them because a. I don't know what i am talking about and b. i don't know how to explain because of the first point. bahaha. go Kyrie.

I have class tomorrow. I am going to talk to my professor in Story of English about my test because I am really worried about it. I am also going to print off my paper that is due Thursday and turn it in tomorrow. Tomorrow is also Wednesday which means it is SU night! Mike, Heather and I are going on a little picnic before the madness begins of crazy drunk college kids (us included). I am looking forward to it. Wednesdays are my nights to kind of release and forget about all the burdens that rest on my shoulders throughout the week.

Thanks to Skype, I got to call my grandma collect. It was nice to hear her voice, especially since we are both used to talking every Sunday. I plan on making my way through my little list of phone numbers eventually so I can talk to everyone a bit. I have no idea how much it costs people to accept my collect calls, but I keep it short. Maybe 10 minutes.

I guess I should go to bed. 9 am will come quicker than I want it to.